Delta’s No Fag Hag, Mrs Goodrem Assures Us

Memo to Perez: Don't Get These Two Muddled Up

Smoking and Delta Goodrem – big news, it would seem. But the story now appears to have been deep-sixed on News Corp websites (ie. the Heath Ledger Memorial Website, sorry, I meant Perthnow.com.au), which probably means Mrs Goodrem (Delta’s mum and erstwhile manager) has been working the phones.

Lure Of Squaddies Too Strong For Condi

What exactly is a “private” visit, hmm? But lets not get all wowseristic about this, Condoleezza’s a red-blooded neocon babe with needs and desires just like any other woman. And what the hell, if you were the most powerful woman on the planet, wouldn’t you use your jet to chase up some fun and frolics in far flung locales? And really, it’s hardly surprising that she desires the company of some real men, particularly after having to endure the sycophantic panderings of our emasculated and spineless pollies. More power to ya, sister.

(As reported by PerthNow).

Two Manky Whores And A Racist Dwarf

Movie Review: In Bruges

Another head-cold, another whiskey-fueled couch-potato video marathon. But unlike my last bout of illness, I actually managed to watch something worthwhile this time. Directed and written by Martin McDonagh, In Bruges is an English black comedy in the style of Shallow Grave. It’s a tasty mix of violence, laughs and Colin Farrell’s eyebrows, which seem to be constantly trying to escape from his face.

Tracy Redhead @ The Indi Bar

Tracy Redhead, supported by Ken Watt, July 16th, Indian Ocean Hotel, Scarborough

Entertainment at The Indi Bar is a bit like Mark Harvey’s top lip; you’re never really quite sure what’s going on there. Seemingly endless residencies by stoner bands are erratically punctuated with one-off appearances by bands THAT YOU ACTUALLY WANT TO SEE (and the occasional fire) with little or no advance warning.

Bunbury Social Diary: Hugo Chávez Testimonial Dinner

Who said state and federal don't mix...

The Bunbury Italian Club played host last Saturday to the Hugo Chávez Testimonial Dinner, an annual open-bar knees-up attended by a who’s who of South-West identities. Spotted cheerfully discussing the finer points of state and federal legislative interaction were Opposition Whip and parliamentary hottie Nola Marino (Member for Forrest) and the ever debonair Giovanni (John) Castrilli (Member for Bunbury).

Dish of the Week: Teriyaki Corpse Prawns

Ingredients:

Prawns

Corpse

Seasoned flour

Contemporary Comportment And The .50-Caliber Machine Gun

Review: Rambo IV (2007)

Sylvester Stallone (Sly) looks like he hasn’t aged a day since his last slew of Rambo movies twenty-odd years ago. Fack me, I want whatever monkey-gland anti-aging shit he’s juicing himself on.

The past two decades haven’t changed his acting style either, but time has given him some extra chops when it comes to the credits. Sly is listed as co-writer, director, and I think also co-producer (although I kind of missed this bit as I was getting a drink).

The credits (which are amazingly long) are also instructive in other areas. No fewer than 20 “carpenters” are listed. Twenty carpenters? Given that the movie was shot in the jungle, what the hell did these carpenters carpent (no jokes about wooden acting, please)?

Mallee Root Redux

Astute Perthetic readers will already know that we have a special fondness for mallee root artifacts produced by Western Australia’s gifted artisans; particularly mallee root clocks. We can’t get enough of them – especially the ones with clocks AND barometers – and always stock up when we’re out (of the metropolitan area) and about (searching in vain for a decent cup of coffee) in the State of Excitement’s rural provinces.

Well, fellow devotees, we’ve just discovered there’s a MALLEE ROOT FESTIVAL!