Danny Boyle: Slum and Slummerer

March 11, 2009

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I’m not sure why Danny Boyle’s films have gotten progressively dumber over the years. In some ways his career has followed the same trajectory as former PM Tony Blair. Both Boyle and Blair debuted on the world stage in the mid-’90s, and like Damien Hirst, Noel Gallagher and the rest of the coke-fueled Brit-pack, they managed to surf the Cool Britannia tsunami for all it was worth. Read the rest of this entry »

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Fup Duck Costumed Heroes

March 6, 2009

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Watchmen @ Greater Union Megaplex, Innaloo

Hurrah! For the first time in a long while I actually enjoyed a movie at my local cinema. Greater Union Innaloo managed to start Watchmen at the advertised time, focus the projector and get the sound working – all simultaneously! Oh, and the movie wasn’t half bad either. Read the rest of this entry »


Harvey Milk Slapdown!

February 28, 2009

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Ultimate freestyle milk fighting fans, join us for this keenly anticipated bout between heroic 70s gay rights activist Harvey Milk and his opponent, a feisty one-litre bottle of full-fat Harvey Fresh Milk. Who will triumph and emerge as the milkiest of them all? Read the rest of this entry »


Wrestling with The Wrestler

January 22, 2009

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After seeing Mickey Rourke’s latest effort, I just couldn’t resist digging up a copy of that 1985 “masterpiece of erotica” Nine 1/2 Weeks. Unfortunately, although I’ve tried to watch it on three occasions now, I’ve been thwarted at each attempt by the sheer awfulness of it. Read the rest of this entry »


Woody Allen Megaplex (Crap)

December 31, 2008
Why don't I believe this?

Why don't I believe this?

Vicky Cristina Barcelona @ Greater Union Innaloo Megaplex

I know, I know. I’ve complained about my local cinema’s lack of technical chops before. But I’m growing increasingly convinced that the Greater Union Innaloo Megaplex is some kind of remedial workshop for failed hedge fund managers. What other explanation could there be for advertising incorrect start times for a movie? It’s not an airline, it’s a cinema, for godsakes. Presumably, one knows how long the movie runs for, the time the ads take, how long it takes to do a perfunctory “clean-up.” Why then at the advertised start time, is the previous session still running? How hard can this be to get right? Read the rest of this entry »


Strictly Blowfly

November 11, 2008

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“Baz’s Epic Gamble!” screamed The Weekend Australian, in a desperate bid to ignite public interest in the imminent release of its sister company’s $100M-plus movie Australia. On a daily basis Rupert Murdoch’s papers have been remorselessly exploiting the tried-and-true synergistic cross-media promotional aspects so beloved by News Corp’s fearless leader in a daily doling out of inane crap to keep the masses chattering over the water cooler. And with the movie about to premiere we would imagine that the News Corp film critic drones are busy submitting their reviews to Rupert and 20th Century Fox for approval. Meanwhile, the rest of the media, particularly Fairfax, appear to be preparing huge vats of cranberry sauce for what they believe will be the biggest turkey of the year. So, which will it be? Read the rest of this entry »


Two Manky Whores And A Racist Dwarf

July 23, 2008

Movie Review: In Bruges

Another head-cold, another whiskey-fueled couch-potato video marathon. But unlike my last bout of illness, I actually managed to watch something worthwhile this time. Directed and written by Martin McDonagh, In Bruges is an English black comedy in the style of Shallow Grave. It’s a tasty mix of violence, laughs and Colin Farrell’s eyebrows, which seem to be constantly trying to escape from his face. Read the rest of this entry »