Ultimate freestyle milk fighting fans, join us for this keenly anticipated bout between heroic 70s gay rights activist Harvey Milk and his opponent, a feisty one-litre bottle of full-fat Harvey Fresh Milk. Who will triumph and emerge as the milkiest of them all?
Ding!
Harvey Milk was assassinated 30 years ago. Harvey Fresh Milk is still good for another week according to its date stamp. Biff!
Ding!
Harvey Milk was born in Long Island, New York on May 22, 1930 to William and Minerva Karns Milk. Harvey Fresh Milk is collected daily from award winning herds of Holstein-Fresian dairy cows. Ouch!
Ding!
Sean Penn plays Harvey Milk in the recent biopic Milk. Holstein-Fresian dairy cows play on environmentally pristine pastures around the town of Harvey. Kapow!
Ding!
As a child, Harvey Milk was teased for his protruding ears, big nose, and oversized feet, and tended to grab attention as a class clown. The kid on the Harvey Fresh Milk bottle looks inbred. Boffo!
Ding!
Harvey Milk was assassinated by fellow councillor Dan White. Harvey Fresh Milk is white. Kronk!
Ding!
Harvey Milk used to hang out in bath-houses. Cleopatra bathed in dairy products not dissimilar to Harvey Fresh Milk. Badoof!
The verdict after six rounds: It’s a tied match!
Perthetic 
From your picture, ‘Harvey Fresh Milk’ appears to be well within its ‘best before’; on the other hand, ‘Sean Penn Milk’, a feeble and belated attempt to acknowledge — at best — semi-skimmed gayness in the Hollywood filmiverse, is clearly well past its sell by: so no contest: Harvey Fresh wins!
Pink (?) milk shakes (or is that Golden Showers..) all round… (oohhh errrrr!)…
Hey Nick, you took the words right out of my mouth
Milk sop is the only thing I can add – and that refers more to this blog than Harvey Milk
I think perthetic is losing its cutting edge … bring back the vitriol …