Crap Sequel To Surf Life Saving Championships

Huge Crowds! Not!

The guys and gals competing in this year’s Australian Surf Life Saving Championships at Scarborough beach should probably be advised to keep their mouths shut while out in the water.  

“Crikey, hope me budgie smugglers aren’t riding up”

The comp started on April Fool’s Day, about 24 hours after Perth was deluged with nearly 3 inches of rain. Three inches of rain after a four month dry spell is guaranteed to wash the streets clean; releasing a heady cocktail of dog crap, fag ends and other unmentionables from the stormwater system into the ocean via the outflow pipes dotted along the metropolitan coastline. Anyone who’s ever seen these pipes in action after heavy rain knows that they deliver a prodigious amount of (very) brown water into the ocean. 

Ironically enough, last years surf life saving comp was dogged with a different crap issue. Stirling Council, in its wisdom, announced a curbside rubbish pickup for the period while the comp was on. Thus, the thousands of competing surf life savers and assorted hangers-on were greeted by a Scarborough suburban vista that more resembled Lagos, Nigeria.  

Who knows what kind of crap problem awaits next years comp?

What a sky… Under the Southern Cross


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